Famed Casting Director Allison Jones Once Sent Me a Very Funny Email

Today, the New Yorker has an excellent profile of Hollywood casting director Allison Jones, the woman who discovered Jonah Hill and "McLovin," among others. In the article, it becomes clear that Jones, while an extremely funny person, doesn't write as often as her talent should dictate, or as her collaborators might… » 3/30/15 5:35pm Yesterday 5:35pm

LBJ Was Obsessed With His Dick

One imagines that the mind of the president is constantly occupied by the fate of the free world. This probably explains, for instance, why George W. Bush could barely read. Lyndon B. Johnson, though, was not your average president, for various reasons, but quite prominently that he was very concerned about the state… » 3/30/15 4:25pm Yesterday 4:25pm

Spokesman For Politician Who Committed Suicide Also Commits Suicide

Just over a month ago, Tom Schweich, a Republican candidate for governor of Missouri, shot himself in his home outside St. Louis. This weekend, his spokesman and media director Spence Jackson did the same at his apartment in Jefferson City. » 3/30/15 1:25pm Yesterday 1:25pm

The Insane Rumor About Why a Frat Was Suspended at Univ. of Houston

Ten days ago, the University of Houston suspended its Sigma Chi chapter after what the school's president called "disturbing allegations of hazing within the fraternity." Exactly how disturbing could that hazing have been? Well, the rumor going around campus suggests that Sigma Chi was treating its pledges in a… » 3/27/15 3:35pm Friday 3:35pm

Bad Frats: A Rolling Account of This Year's Fraternity Fuck-Ups

Fraternities in America have spent 2015 more or less acting as if the rules of law and decency do not apply to them. Of course, this is not without reason: for much of the last 200 or so years, our fraternities have been granted a unique pass that has treated their singular incubation of poisonous masculinity as… » 3/27/15 10:55am Friday 10:55am

World's Smallest Chihuahua Is Not Small Where It Counts (His Dick) 

Today, the Daily Mail brings us the story of Toudi, a three-month old chihuahua small enough to fit in the palm of your hand. Look at the tiny guy. Awwwwww. What a cutie. Awwwwwwww. Awwwwwwwwwwww... look at that huge dick. » 3/25/15 3:40pm Wednesday 3:40pm

A Hockey Game Happened To Sarah Jessica Parker Last Night

On the one hand, you can definitely say that Sarah Jessica Parker was physically in attendance at last night's hockey game between the New York Rangers and Los Angeles Kings. On the other, her soul and spirit were very, very far away, twirling inside a novel about an old ballet dancer. » 3/25/15 2:07pm Wednesday 2:07pm

Joe Millionaire Is Hot Now

Joe Millionaire was a reality show that was popular one hundred years ago, in 2003. It was like The Bachelor, with one big twist: while the star of The Bachelor was a regular guy who happened to be rich, the star of Joe Millionaire was a regular guy who happened to be regular, i.e. poor. He was also supposed to be… » 3/23/15 3:55pm 3/23/15 3:55pm

Ted Cruz's Audience Thought His Announcement Speech Was a Load of Crap

Ted Cruz officially announced his presidential candidacy today at Jerry Falwell's Liberty University, and though you could scarcely imagine a safer spot for a Republican to deliver an obligatory and ultimately worthless speech, many of the students in attendance were very willing to see through Cruz's rhetoric. » 3/23/15 2:15pm 3/23/15 2:15pm

White Lady Who Found Enlightenment Via Afro Now Runs "Adult Preschool"

Everybody loves a good redemption story, so let us all gather around and admire the resilient comeback of Michelle Lapidos, who did a perfect white-person thing when she wore an afro around New York to learn more about herself and is now doing an even more perfect white-person thing: running an "adult preschool" in… » 3/20/15 6:17pm 3/20/15 6:17pm

Here's the Internal Memo from Starbucks' Disastrous Race-Relations Push

Everybody hates Starbucks' absurdly stupid "Race Together" initiative, but the people who hate it the most are probably the baristas, who have been asked by their wealthy bosses to bear the responsibility of starting discussions about American racism... at Starbucks. A tipster sent us a photo of what she says is the… » 3/19/15 5:25pm 3/19/15 5:25pm

Old Ass Ludacris Burns the Entire Bush Family

Ludacris hasn't been a great or even good rapper in a very long time. But today he met Jeb Bush and sent a nice little punchline at the entire Bush family, staff, record label, and crew. » 3/19/15 1:05pm 3/19/15 1:05pm

North West Getting Dragged Through the Airport Living the Goddamn Dream

Look at this shit. North West clutching a Frozen suitcase so that she could be dragged through the airport by an anonymous, bald, burly security guard. Her boots gliding across the floor like roller skates. Tiny, custom-made YEEZUS tour jacket her royal robe. What a life! » 3/18/15 1:05pm 3/18/15 1:05pm

Miley Cyrus' Boyfriend Spotted Cheating On Her With Some Rando

"Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead," Miley Cyrus once sang while singing Adele to her dog, and never has that sentiment rung truer than this past weekend, when her boyfriend Patrick Schwarzenegger—son of Arnold, a true and faithful man—was spotted doing body shots off some rando's stomach in… » 3/16/15 6:39pm 3/16/15 6:39pm

SAE Is Secretly Trying To Wipe Away Its Confederate History

After its University of Oklahoma chapter got kicked off campus for singing a racist song, Sigma Alpha Epsilon would very much like you to believe that there is no racism engrained in the organization itself. That probably explains why SAE would no longer like to happily inform you that nearly all of its original… » 3/13/15 5:49pm 3/13/15 5:49pm

Did a Religious Conspiracy Drive a Missouri Politician to Suicide?

Tom Schweich was not supposed to become national news this early, and certainly not for this reason. But when the Missouri state auditor and Republican gubernatorial candidate shot himself in the head just three weeks ago in a suburb west of St. Louis, he posthumously became one of the most fascinating and… » 3/13/15 12:55pm 3/13/15 12:55pm

ISIS: Australian Teen Detonated Suicide Bomb at Iraqi Army Outpost

According to ISIS, an Australian teen named Jake Bilardi, who defected and joined the rebel group sometime late last year, drove a van containing a suicide bomb into an Iraqi army outpost yesterday as part of a series of attacks that killed 17 and injured 38 in Iraq's Anbar Province. » 3/11/15 6:46pm 3/11/15 6:46pm

"Gets the Point Across": Reviews of Amazon's Top Confederate Flag

If you happen to be looking to show your support for SAE, in the wake of its University of Oklahoma chapter getting booted off campus for being a bunch of racists, you might be in the market for the type of confederate flag seen hanging proudly in the SAE house at Oklahoma State University. Thankfully for you, Jeff… » 3/10/15 11:40am 3/10/15 11:40am