Jake Gyllenhaal's $3 Million Pool Is the Crisp White Sneaker of Pools

Not every great pool must be a grand pool. Like a pair of Keds, sometimes satisfaction is attained through well-executed simplicity. Let us consider the above pool, which belonged to Jake Gyllenhaal for nearly a decade before being sold this week for just over $3 million. It is the crisp white sneaker of pools. » 11/21/14 2:00pm Friday 2:00pm

The Dumb Faces of One Direction's Four, Ranked

Despite being a very famous band with access to the best resources the music industry can buy, One Direction decided to put two bad candid photographs on the cover of their new album Four. In both photos, each member of the band is making a dumb and stupid face. These are those faces ranked in ascending order of… » 11/20/14 2:21pm Thursday 2:21pm

ALERT: The Pear Emoji Has Overtaken Rick Ross' Instagram Comments

The pear emoji is not one of the world's most popular emoji, it's safe to say. How often are you eating a pear and wanting to text someone about your pear? As of this writing, per the invaluable Emoji Tracker, ":pear:" is the 570th most used emoji in the world. It has its place, and that's outside of the emoji upper… » 11/18/14 5:01pm Tuesday 5:01pm

Every Single Thing About This Jaden and Willow Smith Interview Is Nuts

The following is an interview in which Jaden Smith—son of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, brother of Willow—says that his goal in life is "to be the most craziest of all time." Everything he says previous to that statement will convince you that no human has ever conceived of a more achievable aspiration. » 11/17/14 4:06pm Monday 4:06pm

Will Al Roker Shart Himself During His Marathon Weather Report?

Tonight, Al Roker will attempt to break the Guinness World Record for longest weather report. This brings to mind a number of questions. For instance, why is this a recognized world record? Also, will Al Roker shit his pants? » 11/12/14 5:00pm 11/12/14 5:00pm

Who Cares if a Hotel Housekeeper Snoops Through Your Room?

Here is something that was made to get people on the internet mad: a hidden camera video of a hotel housekeeper looking through a guy's stuff while she was cleaning his room. "Shocking" is how various places have described the video, but is it really? And more importantly: who really cares if this happens? » 11/11/14 3:09pm 11/11/14 3:09pm

New York Times Finally Admits It Has Never Heard of Good Burger

Last week, America's paper of record published an article on Alex From Target, a cherubic teen superstore employee who briefly became the most notorious human on Twitter before his inspirational rise to fame was co-opted by society's least upstanding citizens. The Times' story was perfunctory except for one curious… » 11/10/14 3:58pm 11/10/14 3:58pm